The Hours

"...most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease or, if we're very fortunate, by time itself.  There's just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem, against all odds and expectations, to burst open and give us everything we've ever imagined, though everyone but children (and perhaps even they) knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult.  Still, we cherish the city, the morning; we hope more than anything, for more."

number 350

There is something absolutely spectacular about days like yesterday afternoon in new york. When the sun comes out after too many days of gray it is like you can't help but smile. I was walking around after work enjoying making mental notes of the restaurants I want to try and the bars I'd like to have a beer in and taking my time to notice, everything. Simply beautiful.

I'm reading The Hours. And so far this kind of just hit me:

"She wonders, while she pushes a cart through the supermarket or has her hair done, if the other women aren't all thinking, to some degree or other, the same thing: Here is the brilliant spirit, the woman of sorrows, the woman of transcendent joys, who would rather be elsewhere, who has consented to perform simple and essentially foolish tasks, to examine tomatoes, to sit under a hair dryer, because it is her art and her duty."

I imagine there is a similar thought in anyone's head at some point during life. A kind of what am I doing and why. I imagine it comes more often for women who have kids because they think they are supposed to. I sometimes watch moms with their children and I wonder why they didn't just decide that kids weren't for them. I think it is much more noble to realize that it's not your desire to have children than to have children with no desire to help with homework, make lunches and want to care for them.

So freaking dreamy...

So happy to finally have my little space heater so my legs can enjoy a nice 80 -85 degree climate. It’s not that I don’t like the cold, I just don’t like when its summer and I have to sit with goose bumps, shivering for 8 hours a day.

Agata and Valentina - - loving the fact that I can get produce for half the price of the grocery

 store. And just staring at all the different types of cheese is entertaining.

My view…

Happy hours and gossip

And Twilight, because oh my gosh even though I didn't want to like this and I resisted it for quite some time. I started reading it and it's good, really good. And impossible to not like Edward. Impossible.

A little bit of Ayn.

I'm reading Anthem by Ayn Rand and like everything she writes; it's interesting, thought provoking, and so true in a depressing, realistic yet hopeful way.  

In the introduction there is a quote from The Fountainhead that made me think:

"I often think that he's the only one of us who's achieved immortality.  I don't mean in the sense of fame and I don't mean he won't die someday.  But he's living it.  I think he is what the conception really means.  You know how people long to be eternal.  But they die with every day that passes...They change, they deny, they contradict -- and they call it growth."  

I'm guilty of this.  I think almost our entire generation is guilty of this. 

I read the Fountainhead at some point in college and I think I'd like to read it again.  I watch movies and I forget them - I'm afraid the same thing happens with books.  

absolutely annoying

I hate to write about relationships. It used to be because of the whole lack of privacy when you are blogging to an entire internet of people. And then it was because I didn’t want to jinx it. And now, I’m not sure I really care. To accurately write about what I’m going through and look back on right now – it would not capture anything to just write about the books I’m reading and the day in and day out of my life. It would not explain how inside I’m smiling. It would not describe the way that knowing how you feel and not doubting that is absolutely wonderful and something I haven’t experienced since I was 17, and even then it was touch and go for a while. It would lack the contentedness I feel of knowing, we finally found each other. Somehow I don’t have to keep looking, keep wondering if there is something better, or something more perfect for me. I think this sums it up quite nicely:

The bottom line is that people are never perfect, but love can be. - Tom Robbins

This vein is beautiful.

I'm thankful for

1) the time I've had to read and watch such interesting things:

I finished Aesop’s Fables and am in the process of reading A Walk in the Woods. A Walk in the Woods is a really good book so far. It’s about this guy walking the Appalachian Trail, but it’s funny and educational, and wonderful. I don't agree with everything he says and a lot of it is his opinion, but it's well written and makes me want to go hike mountains.

I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately – Transformers (Shia is pretty attractive), Cash Back (an artsy type of American Beauty – esque movie that was actually very good), Forgetting Sarah Marshall (hilarious), Caterina in the Big City (odd), The Rocker (decent mindless movie but Dwight is hilarious), and The Hangover which I really enjoyed.

2) the pretty flowers that my wonderful boyfriend left

3) planning trips with Carrie, and the idea that Seattle may finally, actually happen.

4) and work...it's nice to be back.

being simple...

It’s hard to believe how different my life was six months ago. I truly thought that nothing more could happen and then something bad would happen again. And I say bad relatively because my life – even when it is more difficult is still not as hard as some peoples. The things that make me angry or slightly upset are small in comparison to the bigger problems that anyone can face, and sometimes that is really hard to remember. I’m in a very different place now and I’m glad. My friend asked me if he could borrow some of my good karma because I’m going to donate blood today (there is a shortage of my type). It made me think. Made me think about how when things in my life are going good I tend to take the time to be involved in other things, to donate my time or blood, and ultimately be positive. Conversely, when things aren’t going very well – it’s easy to complain, get angry, become upset and ultimately do nothing – add no value to my karma or whatever you believe to call it.