300 and counting

1.  Filling out the application to volunteer for the St. Mary's Food Bank because it's been too long since I've done something for people less fortunate.

2.  Yoga.  All that stretching and one armed push ups left me hurting today.  The satisfying hurt where you know you worked muscles that haven't been worked in a while.

3.  Cloudy skies with lightening so that I was able to watch mother nature do her thing as I ran. 

 Some new pictures on Flickr --->

Gifts

I find it hard to put into words my frustration.   

I watched "The Ultimate Gift" the other night and it almost made me cry.  It was so good and so fitting to the way that I see my family some times.  

I have the hardest time understanding how greed and money can make people transform.  I do not wish for a different childhood because I'm so glad I was able to see what it was like for my parents to struggle and then succeed.  I am proud of my grandparents who on one side worked very hard and are very happy in a little house in Firebaugh and the other set of grandparents who moved from Pacific Palisades to a golf course in Rancho Bernardo, who held tightly to their money and equate it with love, success and respect. 

I realize that money gets you things, makes life easy and isn't something that is a burden.  But I also realize that it changes people because I've seen in happen.  

That movie reminded me of my ex boyfriend who I can't seem to get out of my head lately.  He had been handed almost everything in life and  yet for some reason began to feel he was entitled.  He was careless with everything. And he wasn't happy.  

I'm pretty sure that with money and no purpose you will loose yourself.  

Regardless, it was a really good movie - or maybe just fitting right now.

Pictures soon?

My weekend was pretty extreme.  I am finding I have a harder and harder time relating to my mom for a variety of reasons that I have no intention of writing about here, but it's frustrating.

Things that were wonderful about this weekend:

1. Rocking out to the 80's on the way down to san diego with my sister.

2. Hiking on saturday morning and the nice lady who paid our entrance fee into the park.

3. People that know how to do their jobs and understand what customer service is.  People that don't know how to do their jobs getting demeaned by their bosses (only when they deserve it of course).

4. The 5k for charity on Sunday - the awesome elite runners who make it look so easy.

5.  Dinner at the Seaport in San Diego.  I forgot how beautiful san diego is and how much I liked living there.  It is truly a spectacular place. 

6. Phases of life that all add up to some kind of wonderful.

Run.

1.  Dinner Dash

2.  The Dead Zone

3.  A clean house

I'm off to Orange County and then San Diego to do a 5k this weekend.  Enjoy!

Living

1.  Air conditioning.

2.  A delicious dinner at The White House in Anaheim.

3. Knowing who I want to become and not become.

4.  Family.

5.  Date night with my sister's boyfriend.

6.  Missing exits because of blabbing.

7.  Southwest Airlines.

8.  Running with my dog.

9.  Running in general.

10.  The smell of clean laundry.

11.  Memories, and seeing people that you haven't seen in forever.

12.  Big, tearful hugs.

13.  Choir, duets, and church hymns.

14.  Life - it's interesting how opinions about how to live your life can change and change again.  Really it's an individual decision in finding your own happiness.  I've been to 4 funerals in my life.  All completely different emotionally, in structure, and in how the person lived and what the people who cared for them had to say.  But in the end I think one thing is true regardless of how you choose to live:

"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet." - Emily Dickinson

Rest

I flew home for the weekend for a funeral, my mom's birthday, and father's day.  Had a long day at work and now...I'm recovering.  Thankful, and recovering.

Trippy

I just got back from a business trip in Cottonwood.  It was a cute little town where the people at Starbucks don't just know your drink they know your name, and your kids names.  Initially I was dreading the trip but it actually turned out really good and I had a great time.

1.  The sight of tons of hot air balloons as I pulled up to my coworkers house at 7 in the morning yesterday.

2.  Delicious dinner at Nic's Seafood and Steakhouse in Cottonwood.  You would think this place belongs in some trendy city where people are pretentious but instead it's just a classy well decorated place with amazing food.  The couple that owns it also own several other restaurants throughout Arizona, all unique but trendy-ish.  

3. This song.  

4. Requiem for a Dream.  I've never seen the movie and I really didn't like the book when I first started reading it.  But I'm about half way through and it's growing on me.  Who knew a story about a junkie and a tv addict could be this entertaining and philosophical in a disturbing kind of way...

My favorite quote so far:  "There is nothing worse than a cultural barbarian with pretensions."

5.  The scenic drive.

Be really good at it.

I was watching "Hannah takes the stairs" last night.  It's a way too realistic movie about a lot, but very little.  I realize that makes no sense at all but for some reason it describes the movie accurately.  It wasn't great but one thing I did take from it...

One of Hannah's boyfriends quits his job.  He says he's going to do nothing for a while and be really good at it.  

I got an email from a friend who is living in New York, she told me she's over it.  Her plan is to move somewhere and just live temporarily for a while and enjoy the sun.  

When I left New York I wasn't sure what I wanted, I just knew that I didn't want that anymore.  

Sometimes I shake my head at how all of "our generation" is just searching.  Searching for something and we aren't quite sure what it is.  I know it makes older generations angry and partly I think it's because they suspect we'll get more questions answered then they were able to.  Or at the very least - - we'll have more fun trying.  

In a morbid way, if we are all here for just a short time and the purpose of our life can be determined by oneself and no one else...what is the harm with a bunch of 20 and 30 something year olds running around carelessly looking out for themselves? Especially if we're really good at it...

Singing Hot, hot, hot!

1.  Well next week will officially be the beginning of a new and exciting adventure.  I'm going to be doing the preliminary work for 2 clients solely on my own.  I hate to talk about work on here because everyone knows you shouldn't blog about work, but... I'm pleased.

2.  Soft pretzels. 

3.  Dry heat.  As the east coast is experiencing a terrible heat wave, I am more than happy enduring the 106 degrees here in Phoenix.  It is amazing what a difference humidity makes and it is even more amazing what a difference it is to have to walk a mile and ride on a subway in humid summer heat.  That is one part of New York that I do not miss at all. 

 

4. Oh and that Leonna Lewis "Bleeding Love" song, I'm a really big fan! 

Vrooom Vrooooom

1.  Very long story that just makes me really, really dislike California - - is finally at an end.  I endured 3 hours at the Phoenix DMV, a written test (which I passed with flying colors) and a driving test...I now have an Arizona license and I hope to never have to deal with the California DMV system ever again.  

It was incredibly strange taking a drivers test after having taken it the first time - - 8 years ago.  

2.  The movie August Rush - it might be entirely unlikely and almost absurd but I like it.  

3.  Red Eye, good scary movie that has motivated me to take karate or kick boxing or some kind of martial artish sport so that I can kick almost as much ass as Rachel McAdams does in that movie.  

4.  My sister for hours on end of Canasta, the state game, Monopoly, and jumping fences so that we can go in the spa.  Oh and for keeping me sane.  I'm pretty thankful for that also...

Responsibility, What's that?! Responsibility, not quite yet.

Officially I'm at an age where I want to have an exciting -take and do what I can, and be irresponsible approach to everything; although I know I'm getting older.  And at the same time I see people that are settled down and taking their kids to the movies -and I want that.  I want that sense of comfort and lack of desire to be reckless.  

I know that every place in life I wind up isn't always going to feel comfortable but right now I feel such an extreme desire to run when things seem to settle and to yearn for domesticity when I'm furthest from it.  I'm only 24 - I thought these feelings were supposed to start when I hit the 30s. 

Regardless:

1.  I spent today wishing that there was some way to never have to work that didn't include winning the lottery, giving up my morals, or robbing anything or anyone.  Sometimes I really do wish we had a trade and barter system instead of this whole job stuff.  Thankfully, I had Paul to banter with about it all.

2.  Crazy Jim's - quite possibly the best Greek Salad I've ever had.

3.  More plans for weekend getaways... 

Blah, blah

1.  After a pathetic first run back after almost three weeks of not working out, I'm more motivated than ever to get my body back in shape.  Interestingly enough, all I've lost is muscle so although it appears I'm loosing weight, I'm also becoming incapable of running two miles without needing to catch my breath.  I prefer fit to skinny any day.

2.  Indiana Jones.  The movie was good although it wasn't everything I remember those movies being.  Maybe it's been too long since I've seen them or maybe I'm just not as easily entertained as I was when I was younger, but I wasn't thrilled.  Shia is cute though.  And it does make me laugh because I remember my brother having a whip and Indiana Jones hat that he absolutely loved.  Funny how we actually grow up...in ways.

3.  P.S. I love you.  I read the book a couple of years ago and it was really good in a real, makes you want to cry but in a good emotional way.  The movie is comparable but I remember the book being better.

4.  Newsies -- absolutely great musical.  A little long but still wonderful and worth

 watching.

5.  The baseball game on Saturday - tons of fun.  

6.  Finding Chimay Bleu at Trader Joe's so I can enjoy the 9% alcohol beer that I feel in love with in Belgium.  

closer

There is something wonderful about when a person shows compassion for another human being and then acts on that emotion instead of ignoring it.  I'm guilty as anyone else for passing by someone in need, thinking how terrible but not stopping.  

I watched a man struggling to push his car in neutral after it had 

stalled and before the traffic coming quite fast behind him reached the back of his car, or worse him.  And then saw a man who must have parked his car and jumped out- run across the street to help.  Granted I was watching all of this from the rear view mirror and the opposite side of the street but I can't help but be grateful that there are people who will stop, there are people willing to help. 

I guess it also makes me realize I need to become more of that person that I admire and less of the one that is watching in the mirror.